Note: This Post is LONG over-due and I apologize for the long wait, but I had a wedding to plan. Read on.
Several dozen balloons purchased, hundreds of thousands of chocolates bought in the specific shape of red heart shaped boxes, millions of roses sent and reached it's destination at a specific place and time, a billion sweet words passed to the ears of eager, longing loves. Hallmark, See's Candy, Jared's, Zale's, Macy's... It's all crammed into ONE day, one particular day, a day where we're all following everyone's tradition of setting one day aside to express one's love for the person they love... Valentine's Day. Just like the rest of the people in the world, we participate in the game of follow the leader, monkey see, monkey do and naturally go with the flow of Valentine's day, because if you don't you're either an insensitive asshole, or a bitter single because you're alone and have no one to celebrate with.
This Valentine's Day, I had the pleasure of spending it with my boyfriend of five years. Him and I are not too big on Valentine's day, because for one, Valentine's day seems like an economical boost to stimulate businesses and two, we believe in the cliche: "Everyday is Valentine's Day." And I stand by that, it should be, but we like to be good sports and celebrate the day of love, why not? As of last night, my boyfriend of 5 years is now my fiancee. He was quite sentimental in his proposal and undoubtedly, I said, "Yes." So now, Valentine's day is now the day he proposed, nothing more, and definitely, nothing less.
While I was out with my fiancee, on this very special evening, we find it interesting to examine couples, see their differences and read their body language,and embrace their visible commitment to one another regardless of the differences. We wound up at the Cheesecake Factory in the Sherman Oaks Galleria, and let me tell you, it was an hour wait to get the first table available, so you could imagine how many couples we saw going in and out of the restaurant all celebrating the same occasion, the women all dolled up and looking their best and the men with the convinced look of "I'm doing the right thing" on their faces. The most enjoyable couples were the 55 and Over couples and of course, the teenagers. The love was either so new and pure, or so relaxed and bullshit-less. But there were two couples that stood out to us, one being the short old man with a 7 foot, 400 lbs black woman on his arm and then there was another couple, the girl was your average sweetheart and the middle-aged guy... well... he was your average idiot.
Unfortunately, they were seated right behind us and OH... MY.... GOD!!! This guy was not only dressed quite down in faded blue jeans (and not the in style type faded) I mean they were once a light blue and now turning white, blue. On his upper half, besides the unfortunate hair he had combed to the side, he wore a grey T-shirt that said "I'd rather be Fishing." Really, Of all things you own, you pick a shirt that says you'd "rather" be doing something else? Besides his hobo ensemble, "Prince Oblivion" was saying all the wrong things.
I'm not sure how your Valentine's Day went but anyone with ears could tell that this poor girl was NOT enjoying herself.
I've taken the liberty to list the following of all the things he did wrong, aka (men) your guideline of "What Not-To-Do's" but not just for Valentine's Day but for ANY date you may go on. (Ladies) this is your guideline to help you chose whether you should book your next date with him, or stay at home with your dog, odds are, your dog cares about you a lot more, and of course, these types of 'wonderfuls' to AVOID.
Mistake # 1. He Didn't pull out her chair.
While I'm sure that sexy gesture is dead, the awkward look she gave him when he sat down was as if she shrugged it off but it nonetheless, bothered her.
ADVICE: Men, if there's an opportunity, and you're not sitting in a stationary booth, pull out her chair. There's nothing to be ashamed of. If you refuse, well, you can either shoot yourself in the foot or AT LEAST open her car/any door. It says something about your class and respect for women. if you don't the only thing it says about your class, is that you don't have any.
Mistake # 2. He talked about HIMSELF the entire night.
I mean, bystanders were at complete wonder if his date can actually speak. But her occasional "uh-huh" threw that option out the window. From what he does for a living, how much money he makes, how wonderful he is at his job, to movie quotes and how much people love and commend him, we both nearly fell off our chairs. While some of you might be telling us to mind our own business, it was difficult when he spoke loud enough for the whole restaurant to hear him, unsurprisingly, I believe that was his intention.
ADVICE: If you want to ever see her again, mix up the conversation. Women LOVE when you ask questions about THEM. It's like a fun trivia game, everyone loves a trivia game. and if I'm gonna give you a really good tip, it will be to think of a REALLY GOOD question, think outside "what's your favorite color or ice cream flavor?" Think of a great question that will make her say, "hmmm, I've never been asked that before." Intrigue her and I guarantee you will be the subject at the next girls night out meeting. It's what we do.
Mistake # 3. He didn't pay with his own money.
Before they even ordered food, the clown whips out two $25 gifts certificates from his jacket and slaps them on the table. If that wasn't tacky enough, he says, "I've never been to the Cheesecake Factory before, I only decided to take you here, because I had gift cards." And then he adds, "so we'll order $50 bucks worth and never come back again." I mean COME ON! Who does that?? Do you know how many people stay home on Valentine's day, wishing they had a girl they could take out, get to know, and spend some time with. This guy doesn't even deserve gift cards let alone, a date. We noticed the girl kept taking frequent bathroom breaks... perhaps texting a friend to help her get out of this nightmare?
ADVICE: DON'T BE SO TACKY! While some girls are less "materialistic" and could care less how he pays, it's the nature and classless way he said it to her, as if he hadn't put any effort in to it at all. Completely selfish and mindless, he still was honest. HOWEVER, If you have no intentions on dressing up, opening a car door, pulling out a chair, spending a little breath on asking HER question or paying with your own money, then maybe you should stay home. Look Moron, if you are going to brag about your job, and how much money you spend, at least be smart enough to pay for the poor girl's time. Men and women, if money is not your interest, then have enough decency to make up for your lack of conversation, manners and romance. Just a thought.
Mistake # 4: He Checked Out Evey Woman Who Passed His Way.
So you have this under-dressed, cheap, arrogant Moby-DICK, sitting with a cute chick at dinner, and she's not enough for him? He's lucky to even be out in public, but of course, he's going to let his eyes wonder off into "it's-never-gonna-happen-land" and totally screw up even more than he already has. As if being a complete bozo wasn't bad enough, throw in disrespectful, cheap, creepy, classless and just down right rude and you've got yourself that loser on "Blind Date" who gets slammed in the commentary at the end of the date and obviously goes home alone with out a single digit or kiss on the forehead, let alone cheek.
Advice: Guys, if you're going to be a pig, be honest about it. By now, we've already figured it out anyways, there's no point in hiding it. Don't boldly check out the girl in the cute flowy dress, or the one walking past in the Just-below-the-cooch-skin-tight dress, with her garbanzos spilling out the top of her dress; odds are, she dressed that way for some poor bastard to gawk at her, and guess what, you just dubbed yourself, "poor bastard." Not only does it make you look as though, you don't get out much or that you've never seen a woman before, but if you're with someone, it's rude, disrespectful and just plain gross. It doesn't make her feel any better towards you, and could possibly make her feel less about herself. Whether she has low self esteem or has a very HIGH confidence level, sitting back and watching your date stare at a woman as though you had already undressed her, really isn't complimenting, nor a good feeling for ANYONE, man or woman.
Sure, I can sit around and tell you how uncomfortable that is, but what can you do about it? Well, Men, if it's uncontrollable, (Which obviously, if you have blood in your veins and you're not into dolphins, it can be uncontrollable) try an be open with your wife, fiancee, girlfriend, dinner-date or even a friend, tell her you have a tendency to do that and hope she doesn't mind. I know I can a appreciate a beautiful woman, and my fiancee can admit when a man is good looking, we can't lie to ourselves. So Ladies, to make your men more openly honest, I suggest you comment first. When a beautiful girl passes, casually say "Wow, she's Beautiful." it lightens the secret. He will agree and wisely say, "Not as pretty as you" or just agree. It's unattractive when a female automatically hates another woman for being attractive. Just because your beau has a wondering eye, it's not her fault. And men, Don't STARE!!! It's not only rude and uncomfortable to the woman your drooling over but it's disrespectful and rude to do so when your pretty little baby is beside you. My only advice here is, be open minded and honest, and respect and loyalty will ooze right along with it.
In Conclusion, I wish I could tell you what happens in the end, does she see him again? Is she used to being treated like this? Does he make things worse or try and better them? Unfortunately, I can't answer that. What I do know is sitting next to that guy, I've always appreciated my fiancee, but everything I've ever complained that he does or doesn't do, suddenly didn't matter. There's someone for everyone, it's a matter of finding them and then once you do find them, it's key not to blow it. There's nothing more fulfilling than being with someone who absolutely adores the very step you take so much that conversation, gratuity, courteousness, honesty and respect automatically pours out of you naturally. Folks, whether it's Valentine's Day, a picnic in the park or T.V. Dinners in front of the set, My advice is to show some respect for yourself and for the one you're with, you can't go wrong.
Several dozen balloons purchased, hundreds of thousands of chocolates bought in the specific shape of red heart shaped boxes, millions of roses sent and reached it's destination at a specific place and time, a billion sweet words passed to the ears of eager, longing loves. Hallmark, See's Candy, Jared's, Zale's, Macy's... It's all crammed into ONE day, one particular day, a day where we're all following everyone's tradition of setting one day aside to express one's love for the person they love... Valentine's Day. Just like the rest of the people in the world, we participate in the game of follow the leader, monkey see, monkey do and naturally go with the flow of Valentine's day, because if you don't you're either an insensitive asshole, or a bitter single because you're alone and have no one to celebrate with.
 |
| Showered with love. |
This Valentine's Day, I had the pleasure of spending it with my boyfriend of five years. Him and I are not too big on Valentine's day, because for one, Valentine's day seems like an economical boost to stimulate businesses and two, we believe in the cliche: "Everyday is Valentine's Day." And I stand by that, it should be, but we like to be good sports and celebrate the day of love, why not? As of last night, my boyfriend of 5 years is now my fiancee. He was quite sentimental in his proposal and undoubtedly, I said, "Yes." So now, Valentine's day is now the day he proposed, nothing more, and definitely, nothing less.
 |
| Each day is Valentine's Day. |
Unfortunately, they were seated right behind us and OH... MY.... GOD!!! This guy was not only dressed quite down in faded blue jeans (and not the in style type faded) I mean they were once a light blue and now turning white, blue. On his upper half, besides the unfortunate hair he had combed to the side, he wore a grey T-shirt that said "I'd rather be Fishing." Really, Of all things you own, you pick a shirt that says you'd "rather" be doing something else? Besides his hobo ensemble, "Prince Oblivion" was saying all the wrong things.
I'm not sure how your Valentine's Day went but anyone with ears could tell that this poor girl was NOT enjoying herself.
I've taken the liberty to list the following of all the things he did wrong, aka (men) your guideline of "What Not-To-Do's" but not just for Valentine's Day but for ANY date you may go on. (Ladies) this is your guideline to help you chose whether you should book your next date with him, or stay at home with your dog, odds are, your dog cares about you a lot more, and of course, these types of 'wonderfuls' to AVOID.
Mistake # 1. He Didn't pull out her chair.
While I'm sure that sexy gesture is dead, the awkward look she gave him when he sat down was as if she shrugged it off but it nonetheless, bothered her.
| See! That didn't hurt did it? |
Mistake # 2. He talked about HIMSELF the entire night.
I mean, bystanders were at complete wonder if his date can actually speak. But her occasional "uh-huh" threw that option out the window. From what he does for a living, how much money he makes, how wonderful he is at his job, to movie quotes and how much people love and commend him, we both nearly fell off our chairs. While some of you might be telling us to mind our own business, it was difficult when he spoke loud enough for the whole restaurant to hear him, unsurprisingly, I believe that was his intention.
 |
| Date from Hell. |
Mistake # 3. He didn't pay with his own money.
Before they even ordered food, the clown whips out two $25 gifts certificates from his jacket and slaps them on the table. If that wasn't tacky enough, he says, "I've never been to the Cheesecake Factory before, I only decided to take you here, because I had gift cards." And then he adds, "so we'll order $50 bucks worth and never come back again." I mean COME ON! Who does that?? Do you know how many people stay home on Valentine's day, wishing they had a girl they could take out, get to know, and spend some time with. This guy doesn't even deserve gift cards let alone, a date. We noticed the girl kept taking frequent bathroom breaks... perhaps texting a friend to help her get out of this nightmare?
ADVICE: DON'T BE SO TACKY! While some girls are less "materialistic" and could care less how he pays, it's the nature and classless way he said it to her, as if he hadn't put any effort in to it at all. Completely selfish and mindless, he still was honest. HOWEVER, If you have no intentions on dressing up, opening a car door, pulling out a chair, spending a little breath on asking HER question or paying with your own money, then maybe you should stay home. Look Moron, if you are going to brag about your job, and how much money you spend, at least be smart enough to pay for the poor girl's time. Men and women, if money is not your interest, then have enough decency to make up for your lack of conversation, manners and romance. Just a thought.
Mistake # 4: He Checked Out Evey Woman Who Passed His Way.
So you have this under-dressed, cheap, arrogant Moby-DICK, sitting with a cute chick at dinner, and she's not enough for him? He's lucky to even be out in public, but of course, he's going to let his eyes wonder off into "it's-never-gonna-happen-land" and totally screw up even more than he already has. As if being a complete bozo wasn't bad enough, throw in disrespectful, cheap, creepy, classless and just down right rude and you've got yourself that loser on "Blind Date" who gets slammed in the commentary at the end of the date and obviously goes home alone with out a single digit or kiss on the forehead, let alone cheek.
 |
| YOU'RE the "Ass." |
Advice: Guys, if you're going to be a pig, be honest about it. By now, we've already figured it out anyways, there's no point in hiding it. Don't boldly check out the girl in the cute flowy dress, or the one walking past in the Just-below-the-cooch-skin-tight dress, with her garbanzos spilling out the top of her dress; odds are, she dressed that way for some poor bastard to gawk at her, and guess what, you just dubbed yourself, "poor bastard." Not only does it make you look as though, you don't get out much or that you've never seen a woman before, but if you're with someone, it's rude, disrespectful and just plain gross. It doesn't make her feel any better towards you, and could possibly make her feel less about herself. Whether she has low self esteem or has a very HIGH confidence level, sitting back and watching your date stare at a woman as though you had already undressed her, really isn't complimenting, nor a good feeling for ANYONE, man or woman.
Sure, I can sit around and tell you how uncomfortable that is, but what can you do about it? Well, Men, if it's uncontrollable, (Which obviously, if you have blood in your veins and you're not into dolphins, it can be uncontrollable) try an be open with your wife, fiancee, girlfriend, dinner-date or even a friend, tell her you have a tendency to do that and hope she doesn't mind. I know I can a appreciate a beautiful woman, and my fiancee can admit when a man is good looking, we can't lie to ourselves. So Ladies, to make your men more openly honest, I suggest you comment first. When a beautiful girl passes, casually say "Wow, she's Beautiful." it lightens the secret. He will agree and wisely say, "Not as pretty as you" or just agree. It's unattractive when a female automatically hates another woman for being attractive. Just because your beau has a wondering eye, it's not her fault. And men, Don't STARE!!! It's not only rude and uncomfortable to the woman your drooling over but it's disrespectful and rude to do so when your pretty little baby is beside you. My only advice here is, be open minded and honest, and respect and loyalty will ooze right along with it.
In Conclusion, I wish I could tell you what happens in the end, does she see him again? Is she used to being treated like this? Does he make things worse or try and better them? Unfortunately, I can't answer that. What I do know is sitting next to that guy, I've always appreciated my fiancee, but everything I've ever complained that he does or doesn't do, suddenly didn't matter. There's someone for everyone, it's a matter of finding them and then once you do find them, it's key not to blow it. There's nothing more fulfilling than being with someone who absolutely adores the very step you take so much that conversation, gratuity, courteousness, honesty and respect automatically pours out of you naturally. Folks, whether it's Valentine's Day, a picnic in the park or T.V. Dinners in front of the set, My advice is to show some respect for yourself and for the one you're with, you can't go wrong.
 |
| Honesty, Courtesy & Respect goes a long way. |
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